Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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