I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
