i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
