It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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