when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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