oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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