garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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