Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
