Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
