Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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