So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think my moral compass just broke
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
