Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
