So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
