can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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