from now on my penis is your penis
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Drake has all the answers
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
