Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
