I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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