i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
