HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have so many feelings about this burrito
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
