I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
