dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
