It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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