She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
