after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
