If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
