The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize