I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
