It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Operation Purity has been aborted
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
