so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
