If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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