It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
please come you make the beer taste better
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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