So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
