the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
