we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
