i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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