Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she woke up with a sticky ear
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
