Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
