Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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