once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
