i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
