that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
