yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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