Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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