dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
