Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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