Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
