Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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