thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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