Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You took a bar mat shot.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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