Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize