bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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