I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
