i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
