She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
