im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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