i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
There's even glitter on my cock...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
