"it" just moved
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
