I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
