She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
