Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
