You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
