ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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