Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
