I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
pray to the hookup gods
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
