No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
