so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
