Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
