my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
