You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
